Secrets. [let's try it in english]
I have never
been good at keeping secrets. Secrets seem to linger in my lips, dancing like
the bitter note of lemon in the tongue. They appear to be only waiting for the
opportunity to get caught. They are such children; playing hide and seek inside
me, squealing over the possibility of reaching the hot point – words. Only they
can they become real.
After I have
said this, it is most certain that you will not want to share your secrets with
me. It’s ok. I know you will not believe me now, but I have gotten used to keeping
everyone else’s secrets, actually – just not mine.
And thinking
of the poor little secrets crouching inside, who can blame them? I mean,
wouldn’t you want to become real? Who wouldn’t run like mad to get the chance
to reach the light of day for the first time? Do you think you would be happy
to stay inside, watching the sun spreading his arms through a tiny window?
Admiring it from far, not really being allowed to feel the warmth of its rays
on your skin?
Well, this
might actually sound strange to you, but some secrets just long to be screamed
out. To be hugged by emotions, thrown away so they can fly out into the open
air. To
have fun. They wish to be loved and allowed to go crazy, like everyone else.
And sometimes they are not that small; sometimes they are huge, and there is no space inside one’s soul to keep them for long. Secrets can encage dreams, promises, feelings, lies, desires... Imagine how insanely big that can be!
And sometimes they are not that small; sometimes they are huge, and there is no space inside one’s soul to keep them for long.
Once they
are out, they will get caught, though, and they can cause a lot of harm. But
secrets have this problem: they need to be free. It is part of their nature.
They are not domesticated birds who have learned to be kept over generations;
they are wild creatures that cannot be tamed. And they can be so powerful as a
first kiss; or a last kiss, for that matter.
Maybe that
is why I was never good at keeping secrets. Because they live within us. And
their sadness makes us feel agitated, sometimes without really knowing why. But
we can feel that there is something inside that wants to break free. Yes,
that’s right, just like Queen’s song.
So, who am I
to keep a secret from being happy? Especially if it will make me feel better,
too.
What is
that? No, I guess you are right. Secrets don’t have feelings.
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